It’s been 8 and a half years since I first became a dad and almost 3 years since the last dad diary update. Is it finally getting easier?
It’ll get easier they said, give it a couple more years, I waited and waited. Nothing.
3 years ago, I’ll admit I was in a dark place, and that was even before COVID. The fact is, it wasn’t much fun writing about the problems 3 kids and stretched finances give you. Fast forward to today, and the easter break, something special happened. I realised things are definitely getting easier. How did that happen?
I got a new Job
This not only solved a lot of money problems, but for the first time in a misfiring career, I’d arrived in an environment where I aspired to be, developing desirable skills I enjoyed with like-minded, driven people. Job satisfaction in other words and a massive piece of the jigsaw. I’d got my Mojo back.
No post-Christmas fall-out
Usually, Christmas is chaotic, and a worry. But this year, with work sorted, it was different. We were living within our means again. The kids got their first ‘proper’ bikes, which felt great. I was, at last, the proud provider, and when January came, no regrets, no living off beans on toast, and we were able to start the New Year afresh like it’s supposed to be.
The end of restrictions
Of course, the biggest strain of all was the constant school disruption and the inconvenience it caused. With that behind us (and the extra funds), we could finally focus some time on…
…progress with the house
Lockdown was an ideal time to sort out the garden but renovating the interior was a challenge too far with three kids in tow 24/7. So as soon as they went back to school full time we were on it.
So the stage was set, and we could start planning nice things again, like holidays. But in the back of my mind, it always goes wrong somehow, doesn’t it?
COVID had programmed us not to try to plan ahead too much to avoid disappointment, so in the middle of the Easter Holidays, we booked a hotel in the Lake District for the night and played the rest by ear. Everyone was excited, and the 48 hours away was perfect, why?
No prams
Last holiday we had the girls in the hindrance of a twin buggy which limits your movements. This time, five fully functioning and mobile humans in total freedom. One rucksack of provisions and away we went, exploring.
No toilet dramas
Although toilet visits have now become a bit of a game, we’re now well beyond the pain and inconvenience of nappies, thank God. Now? We’re civilized human beings (almost).
Mealtimes
I never thought I’d see the day, but we managed to get through a full dinner and following morning breakfast service completely unscathed. It was calm, nice, dare I say it, fun even! This is the sort of thing I was looking forward to as a parent, to just sit and enjoy a meal in everyone’s company. But it never happened, they got restless, got naughty, and someone always ended up in tears.
This was a BIG moment in our parenting history.
No worries
Similar to the post-Christmas fall-out, this was our first holiday with no financial regrets. But more than that, we were in the middle of a week’s holiday, so had the flexibility to extend the holiday and go where we pleased. We were free in the countryside, just us, our car and our gear. Nothing else was needed, and the weather was fabulous.
The promise finally came true. What do you know? Kids can be fun after all!
Thinking about it now. Was it me? Was it the shitty job with no money that was the problem? Or was everyone just older, better behaved, and happy that they were having a good time?
…. Which begs the question, Do you need money to have a good time? That doesn’t sit right with me at all. Maybe I need to work on recreating these experiences more often, for free!
The answer, of course, was staring me in the face all along. They were happy because they got my time, my full attention, and my love. I was engaged, not distracted, worried, or preoccupied. I made it about them, not me.
Maybe. after being wrapped up in my own problems, I just came back to them, after all this time.
Thanks for reading.
