Every successful musician knows that touring is a part of life. While it can feel exciting at first, it isn’t always as glamorous as people make it out to be.
There are long hours on the road, driving through the night, eating fast food all of the time, and finding places to stay wherever you can. It’s hard enough to maintain healthy eating and exercise habits on the road, let alone keeping up with your relationships.
But maintaining those relationships while you’re away is crucial. A full-time touring schedule can be quite busy. It’s more than just driving around all day and playing shows at night. So, how can you keep your relationships back home healthy and strong while you’re away?
Using Tech to Stay in Touch
Being on tour can feel like being in a long-distance relationship with everyone you care about, including your spouse or partner, your children, family members, and friends. Thankfully, we live in a time where it’s easier than ever to stay in touch with the people we love. So don’t be afraid to take advantage of that when you have some downtime between venues.
About 3.5 billion people around the globe have smartphones, so staying connected to those you care about shouldn’t be difficult. Even sending text messages throughout the day can help to keep your relationships strong. Additionally, you can take advantage of features like FaceTime, which allows you to video chat with multiple people at once (up to 32 people, to be exact!). So, you can talk with your partner, your parents, your kids, and friends all at the same time if you’re short on time or want to get everyone together.
When you’re on tour, you get to see and experience things that most people don’t get to on a regular basis. Taking photographs or even using a drone to capture video of your surroundings can be a great way to share your experience with the people you love. Think of it as sending a virtual postcard. It shows you’re thinking about them, and it can make them feel more connected to you, no matter where you are.
Taking Care of Your Relationships
It’s important to give your relationships as much attention as possible on the road. That’s especially true if you start to notice any warning signs that things might be going poorly. The following are some signs/symptoms that your partner has started to check out of the relationship:
- They’re hyper critical of you and what you’re doing
- Stonewalling
- They’re easily-annoyed
- They don’t show you affection when you’re home
- They make sarcastic comments about you
Sometimes, unfortunately, there’s not much you can do to salvage a relationship that has gone south. But by valuing and taking care of your relationships while you’re on the road, you’ll lower your chances of that happening.
In addition to using technology to stay connected with those you love, set rules and boundaries with the people you’re close to even before you leave. With your partner or spouse, commit to things like talking every day or never spending more than three months apart at a time. Setting rules ahead of time can help you both to manage your expectations so no one is let down or surprised.
When it comes to staying close with your children, try to remain as consistent as possible. Children thrive on routine, and while you may not always be able to call them or video chat with them at the same time each day, try to have a special time, at least once a week, set aside for the two of you to chat. It’s something they can look forward to and it will provide them with some comfort. Your kids will also undoubtedly love hearing about your stories from the road and the places you’ve visited, so take the time to share with them as much as you can. Being a mother or father isn’t about doing things perfectly with your children, but doing the best you can to show them how loved and cherished they are, even when you’re hundreds of miles apart.
Overcoming Personal and Relationship Hurdles
It’s no secret that life on the road is hard for a variety of reasons. But, if your relationships are struggling and you’re feeling lonely, lost, or even depressed, it might be time to seek out the help of a mental health professional.
Feelings of depression or anxiety can stem from childhood, or be the result of an underlying issue that you’ve never dealt with. Psychotherapy can help you get to the bottom of those issues. But if you’re more concerned about relationship hurdles and how to overcome them with your partner or others in your life, you might want to consider counseling. A counselor can help you to identify the root of the issues you’re facing, so you can address them directly. When you accept the reality of those issues, you can start to focus on repairing them with the guidance of a professional.
Even though you have a lot on your plate while you’re touring, it’s important to think about what really matters most — the people you love. Take advantage of how easy it is to stay connected nowadays, and put in the extra effort to keep your relationships strong, no matter where you are. When you do that, you’ll be able to put more of your heart into your music and enjoy your time on tour, rather than resent it for keeping you away from home.
Courtesy of Maggie Potter
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