What I really hate about Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Star Wars: The Force Awakens, at times, feels more like a Star Wars parody acted out by grovelingly grateful cast members, overwhelmed at how being in a Star Wars film has no doubt made or at the very least boosted their career. From Finn’s ‘Come on, Come on’ reprisal of Han on the Millennium Falcon’s cannon, to Han’s 30 year’s too late obsession with Chewbacca’s bowcaster, the film is a mindfield of cheesy references and unfunny comical anecdotes from the original.

Where is my Return of the Jedi sequel?

The Return of the Jedi, for me at least, took the Star Wars template and threw the kitchen sink at it, culminating with a three acts (Battle of Endor, Attack on the Second Death Star and Luke Vs Vader II) intertwining and building up to a epic finale. But what happened to the Rebel and Imperial fleets, where did Han, Leia and Luke go from there?, what about Lando?, or the Ewoks for that matter. etc etc. Instead of a sequel explaining this, what I got was effectively yet another ‘Prequel’, a cynical money-spinning sandbox for a new wave, the starter course, but in no way the full meal.

Gaping plot holes and coincidences.

Oh look, there’s the Millennium falcon, which I can somehow fly. Oh look Han and Chewie, who have been searching for the ship for 15 years have just stumbled across us. Oh dear we haven’t got an X-wing flying Jedi, lets have a Jedi and a separate X-wing pilot guy, missing lightsabres in a cantina. The list goes on, but in summary it’s an unfocused, disjointed tale, poorly executed with too much left out. In contrast, the original trilogy keeps it simple, clear and focussed. A princess needs rescuing and the bad-guys need blowing up.

No R2D2 / C3PO magic.

The original Star Wars Trilogy was, in essence, a tale of two droids and the events developing around them from their innocent, sometimes candid perspective. In my opinion, that’s one reason why the Star Wars ‘magic’ is lost in the prequels and now the sequel. Telling the story through the droid’s eyes is inspired because it avoids the need for people, places and events to be explained in any great detail, leaving the audience to fill in the gaps on their own, which created the rich Star Wars universe we all know and love. Granted, R2D2 is shut down in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, (although again, it’s not explained why), but even so, the companionship felt in the original trilogy, which was so crucial, just isn’t there anymore.

Another new Universe?

The problem with Star Wars: The Force Awakens is that, because we don’t have the droids ‘narrating’ the story as it were, nothing is explained. There’s too many gaps, too much is left to be explained in Episode VIII. What happened to the rebellion?, who are the resistance? How did Rey end up on Jakku? One of the best things about Star Wars: Episode IV is that it sets out the universe and it’s characters, while telling a self contained story. Beginning, middle and end. What we have here is almost a prologue setting up a new universe. But why?, we already have one of the best-loved universes waiting for a ‘proper’ sequel and we already know and love the characters. It has the feel of a prequel, not a sequel.

The Final Act.

At some point in development, by the looks of it late on, a ‘Death Star’ (Starkiller base) seems to have been shoe-horned into film. (Starkiller being Lukes original surname before being changed to Skywalker – more fan cheesy fan-service) Obviously it needed to be bigger and better than the previously Death-stars, so let’s make it out of a planet, powered by the sun, oh and lets make it destroy whole solar systems instead of just planets. The problem is, I and millions of others have seen it all before, their’s no shock factor. We get some crazed Nazi-style posturing from General Hux and some exploding planets. There’s no context, no empathy like the destruction of Alderaan, it all just seems tacked on to tick the Death-Star box.

The planning and execution of the attack on Starkiller base is almost an afterthought, as though the film-maker knew it had all been done and seen before, but had to do it anyway, so added a bit of humour to the proceedings to compensate. There’s no tension and no sense that things could possibly end in anything other than a victory for the rebellion (or is it resistance?). It’s almost an admission that the Attack on the Death Star I and II couldn’t be bettered. Another huge disappointment.

Dramatic Space Opera?

Remember the Iconic moments of the Original Trilogy? Sitting on the edge of your seat as Vader homed in on Luke in the ‘Attack on the Death Star’. Everything about Hoth, The Final act of Return of the Jedi, and of course ‘I AM YOUR FATHER!!!!’. Well, nothing even approaches that in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Instead, what you get is, besides the Star Wars : A New Hope facsimile, is three teenagers going at each other with lightsabers in almost teen-movie fashion.

And what would a space opera be without a dramatic space battle? As stated before, Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi, took the Star Wars template and threw the kitchen sink at it. X-Wings, B-Wings, Y-Wings, A-Wings, Tie Fighters, Tie-Interceptors, not the mention all the big capital ships and transports on both sides.

What do we get in Star Wars: The Force Awakens? Some dull looking transports, about twelve X-wings with paint-jobs and some new tie-fighters. In fact there are no actual ‘space’ battles as they now all take place in the planet’s atmosphere.