Guitar Acquisition Syndrome (GAS)

Logic never really plays a part when it comes to the passionate, emotional world of the Guitar Acquisition Syndrome (GAS).

In the run up to some forthcoming gigs,  I really thought I had my gear sorted this time. My favourite guitar, the Epiphone ES-335 PRO, giving me some massive semi-acoustic tones + an extra coil-tap trick for more subdued moments, a convenient, versatile, great-sounding multi-fx in the BOSS ME-80, powered by the all-new, unbelievably loud and compact BOSS Katana 50.  All I could ever want. Simplicity, a great sound and flexibility….until I walked into the guitar shop one Saturday afternoon and Guitar Acquisition Syndrome (or Gear Acquisition Syndrome) hit like a train.

The Telecaster that got away

I’ve never been a fan of Telecasters. Not enough sustain, too spikey/thin sounding, not versatile enough (for me anyway). The Epiphone had it all really, easy playability, a huge range of sounds, sustain for days and it NEVER went out of tune. But as soon as I got that Tele neck in my hands, I started to wonder.

The Telecaster in question was a Squier Telecaster Custom II. The model with the ‘Seymour Duncan Designed’ P90s, a pickup I’ve long admired for their middy bark and chameleon-like character when dealing with varying styles. It of course didn’t matter that I’d already owned Telecasters and P90 equipped guitars before, settling on semis, as I got lost on the satin maple fingerboard of the Tele.

Then the doubts started to creep in. The Epiphone had a flatter radius-ed fingerboard, often a plus for many, but this Tele seemed to mould into my hand like wet cement into a rubber glove. If the Epiphone was effortless to play, this was positively telepathic!, seeming to second-guess imminent mistakes and correct them. I made a conscious effort to fluff it, zipping over patterns I’d never usually dare to attempt, and out they popped, miraculously, as clean as a whistle.

But it’s still a Tele isn’t it?, no bark, no bite, no sustain? Well, no. Not with these P90’s it wasn’t.

And there I was, sold on the guitar I didn’t need, convinced it would make me a better player, and by extension my new-found skills would give me a better sound, which would lead to higher quality creativity, practised more often,  resulting in the holy grail of expertly crafted songs coupled with virtuoso live performances, which is what, as musicians, we’re all here for isn’t it?

I expressed my interest in the guitar, but would sleep on it. You know, kids, bills, the usual lingering doubts. “Don’t worry about it” said the shop owner. “It’ll still be here next week if you come early”.  We’ll, the wife just got a new pair of boots, this was my fully justified, guilt-free treat eh?

I arrived at 12 noon the following day, It had been sold to someone else, and the opportunity to better myself had gone, along with the joy of getting a new instrument home for the first time to tinker with. I was left lump-in-the-throat hollow and flat,  cold-turkey deprived, with nothing to look forward to anymore. The doorway to the fast-track to success, brutally closed in my face once again.

Guitar Love is the Drug

And that’s Guitar Acquisition Syndrome for you. A mighty chemical reaction to your internal biology, a drug praying on your love, your addiction, the euphoric uppers and the cold, cruel downers. Guess what? If I’d bought the guitar, I’d have found out its faults, just like the countless others, and those niggles would turn into annoyances, then something else would come up and we’d come full-circle time and time again.

It’s just a nice feeling to be in the looking/buying world. I’m programmed to love it, to be drawn to it, and when I’m away from it, I miss it (The little things I miss about being in a band)

Of course, at the very next band rehearsal all was well with the world again, with the gear I’d logically arrived at through experience (you can read about some of the gear that’s passed through my hands in Music Gear Reviews). I was glad I’d resisted the latest bout of Guitar Acquisition Syndrome and tried to forget about that Tele….

… At least until next time!

(And it’s exactly the same for amps and pedals too)